Writing Amidst the Misery

Ever have one of those weeks that are so miserable, so fraught with mind-numbing catastrophe, that you start to look back over your life and wonder where you went wrong? Where, exactly, did I turn left instead of right? Which decision in my past brought me to this point in time, with these people, and in these circumstances?

I find myself dealing, simultaneously, with serious illnesses in family and friends, a sick cat, unemployment, financial difficulties, and the newly-discovered betrayal of someone I trusted.

That’s a lot of crap to be juggling.

Now, we could say that the positive approach would be to see it all as grist for the creative mill. What am I, the main character here, feeling? What does the room look like? How do I eventually figure it all out?

I imagine that might work well for someone writing novels; but I write picture books. Picture books are supposed to be fun and never sad. Sad picture books may win artsy-fartsy awards, but kids don’t read them twice. I refuse to make a child associate sadness with books. That would be akin to advocating the wholesale slaughter of baby seals, complete with graphic illustrations.

So what do I do with this mess that is clogging my creative arteries with anger, resentment, worry, and overall I-really-hate-my-life angst?

Good question.

I don’t write well when I’m upset. My focus is on my problems and not my work. Hell, even the day job is suffering. My go-to when I’m stuck is to read about writing. Somehow, it’s easier for me to rekindle the desire to write than it is for me to think creatively when I’m standing in the middle of an emotional tornado. It’s that desire to write, to succeed, that gets my brain thinking in picture book terms again.

The common advice writers hear is that we should just write through the pain, even if it’s bad writing. I see that as a waste of time and (perhaps coining a new phrase here) muse abuse. Sometimes you just have to take that step back and catch your breath. Revisit what makes you love writing. Let your mind settle down, work on the personal problems at hand, and trust God.

I’ll write again. So will you.

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